Now

When you think too much about wanting to change the world, you do no more than fret yourself. If you get caught up in how to do something big and important that will make a difference, you just get caught. You cannot sit and fuss over how to make the world a better place. Just live. That’s all it really takes. Just live your God-given life in a God-pleasing way. Your life is not like a river that you float down slowly, uneventfully with nothing ever happening until you reach the one giant waterfall, your one chance to make a giant change. There are whirlpools; there are logs and rocks jutting in the way. There are wild animals; there are fish jumping all around our boat. There is no need to lie back and let the current dully take you to the waterfall where you can finally do some good. There is no need, because things are already happening around you! There are people on the banks that you are passing by. You could help them now if you weren’t too busy waiting for your big limelight moment. Your moment to create change is not once. Your moment is not going to wait for you to reach a specific age, a specific financial state, a specific anything. Help is not specific. You need to sit up in your boat; we all need to sit up in our boats and not waste any more time looking forward to when we can make a difference. For change doesn’t only come with a giant waterfall; it comes with the slightest of tilts with your oar. It comes when we decide it comes. So let's decide upon now.

"Mess is the motor of creativity"

I realized why I don’t throw anything away. Everything is so beautiful. Everything is too beautiful to throw away. Too enrapturing to say, “Oh, this isn’t worth anything anymore” and dump it in the trash. Every cardboard box, ever trinket found in the street while going on a walk on a warm day, every clipping from a magazine – it’s all beautiful. I can’t bring myself to through away the Chinese fortune I found in my fortune cookie last year – the fortune that gave me hope during a really hard time in my life (it’s now taped to my mirror). My messy bedroom is filled with inspiration. The jumble of hemp on the edge of my dresser reminds me to find time in my schedule to do crafts for other people. A copy of a short story of mine lies on an old vinyl on the floor next to a pile of novels, magazines, and poetry books and encourages me to keep the pen moving and continue to pour onto pieces of paper. A giant collage of magazine pictures and quotes on the back of my door excited me about my future, my career, and the home I will have. My room is messy, my life can be messy, and I like it that way.

Narnia in Littleton

I was driving through my neighborhood today. The gutters overflowed with freshly melted snow. Not just a little trickle or a few melted snowflakes gliding down the path, but cold, icy water gushing down the street, spilling over the sides of the gutters moving fast. Fast fast, almost as fast as the water is cold. I was reminded of when Aslan finally returned to Narnia. The wicked queen had cursed the land with a bitter cold winter that trudged on unendingly. Then upon Aslan’s return, the snow melted in gushes. Green jumped out from underneath, as a track star does when the gun signals the start of the race. The freezing streams flowed down the mountainside and the hills. The melted snow rushed along paths and trails eager to release their once imprisoned energy. The arctic wind becomes a crisp but gentle breeze. Spring.

I drove through the neighborhood, my wheels being pulled slightly to the left and right by the mushy snow and ice on the roads. I looked at this Narnia in my neighborhood and thought about what is melting in my own life. What is my winter storm that has left me unendingly cold? I have felt these past weeks that something in me is melting. A wonderful, free and excited melting is occurring inside of me! Perhaps it is a newfound form of worship that lets me praise my Aslan in a way I never allowed myself to before. Recognizing God and celebrating every gift He gives to us. Perhaps it is my zeal for all in this life, and acknowledging from where it has come. Whatever is melting in me, all I know is I am falling in love with the spring and the One who brought it about.

No one controls the rivers. They flow with a mighty and boundless force. And yet, while they are wild and free, they still flow exactly on the path before them. I have confidence in where I am headed, and even though I cannot see around the river bend, I know that where I am going is full of excitement and passion.