emptying me of myself

I think I'm going crazy going crazy
sitting here sitting here
I'm going crazy sitting here doing nothing

Nothing with my heart
nothing with my mind
nothing with my time

I'm going crazy not knowing
where to go
where to seek
where to live this life

I'm
I'm
I'm emptying my mind
emptying my life
emptying my heart of myself

I'm dumping all these dreams
desires
wants
longings
dumping them into a pile
and sweeping them out the door

I don't need them anymore
because God has something else in mind
He has something else
something wonderful
something marvelous
something I could never dream up

All these dreams I have,
who do they benefit?
Me, selfish me
And even then, my dreams aren't that good for me

God knows what's good for me
And He's got it all in line
He's got it all set up
So I can stop going crazy
going crazy trying to plan out my life
Because who do I think I'm kidding?
I don't have half as good a plan as God does

I am a part of this field

I sit in this field
a part of this field
My spirit soars
a part of this field.

I see the earth stretch before me
stretching in the morning light
awakening from a warm night.

The miles of rustling grass
The red in yonder mountains
The crisp clouds above
All painted for us.

I am a part of this scene,
I am a part of this picture.

I feel God nudging me
with the morning breeze.
I feel God hugging me
with the rising sun.
I feel God

I know Him
I am a part of His picture
I am a part of His plan.

I am a part of His field
I will do as He wishes

I am a part of Your field
As You wish,
It will be done.

Narnia in Littleton

I was driving through my neighborhood today. The gutters overflowed with freshly melted snow. Not just a little trickle or a few melted snowflakes gliding down the path, but cold, icy water gushing down the street, spilling over the sides of the gutters moving fast. Fast fast, almost as fast as the water is cold. I was reminded of when Aslan finally returned to Narnia. The wicked queen had cursed the land with a bitter cold winter that trudged on unendingly. Then upon Aslan’s return, the snow melted in gushes. Green jumped out from underneath, as a track star does when the gun signals the start of the race. The freezing streams flowed down the mountainside and the hills. The melted snow rushed along paths and trails eager to release their once imprisoned energy. The arctic wind becomes a crisp but gentle breeze. Spring.

I drove through the neighborhood, my wheels being pulled slightly to the left and right by the mushy snow and ice on the roads. I looked at this Narnia in my neighborhood and thought about what is melting in my own life. What is my winter storm that has left me unendingly cold? I have felt these past weeks that something in me is melting. A wonderful, free and excited melting is occurring inside of me! Perhaps it is a newfound form of worship that lets me praise my Aslan in a way I never allowed myself to before. Recognizing God and celebrating every gift He gives to us. Perhaps it is my zeal for all in this life, and acknowledging from where it has come. Whatever is melting in me, all I know is I am falling in love with the spring and the One who brought it about.

No one controls the rivers. They flow with a mighty and boundless force. And yet, while they are wild and free, they still flow exactly on the path before them. I have confidence in where I am headed, and even though I cannot see around the river bend, I know that where I am going is full of excitement and passion.